Frustration

Today has been a very frustrating day for me. Actually.. This week has been rather frustrating.
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Sunday night I was craving pizza. So, I made some frozen pizza. I ate more than half the pizza by myself. Granted, Sunday is my cheat day, but I shouldn't be scarfing down pizza on my cheat day.

Monday- I had very little sleep.. so I don't even remember what I ate that day and I didn't log anything in my food journal either.

Yesterday, I honestly didn't even try.

Today, I went to the doctor. I stepped on the scale and it showed that I gained 3 lbs. Which, is probably water weight and due to the fact that I haven't been paying attention. But what really upset me was that my doctor told me that since my weight was so high that I needed to come back for blood tests to see if I had high cholesterol or diabetes. That felt like a slap in the face.. I got into my car and cried all the way to Walgreens to pick up a prescription (which was also frustrating).

I channeled all my frustration into eating well today, and going for a run. I prayed about it.. and I'm trying not to be upset about it.. but it's hard. Here I am, having lost 30 lbs since the last time I went to the doctor. I don't have any symptoms of anything (besides eczema).. and now she wants to test me for high cholesterol and diabetes?? It doesn't make sense to me.

I looked up what my BMI is.. and I'm in the obesity range. But what shocked me was by how much. For my height, to not be considered obese anymore.. and just overweight, I have to get to 185 lbs. That means losing 24 lbs. I know I can do it.. I've lost that much already. I know I need to get there. It's just insanely frustrating to be where I'm at now.. when I work so hard already.

Here's my stats for this week:

Starting weight: 208.4 lbs

Current weight: 209.6 lbs

Goal weight: 150 lbs

Pounds to go: 59.6 lbs

Weeks until deadline: 33 weeks